Simplicity

Simple; (thank you dictionary.com)
Having or composed of only one thing, element, or part.
Not involved or complicated; easy: a simple task.
Being without additions or modifications; mere: a simple “yes” or “no.”

I would dearly love to live a simple life. Even if just for a little while. I do have pleasent memories of just that; a years bliss near the end of my last degree, living with my closest friends, being a student, with a job that was enough to support me, and a car that worked most of the time (as well as a mechanic i knew and trusted for the times it did not). I don't think that i ask for alot, really. I think I have more then payed my dues on the drama front.

A respite from the hassle; a life of ease. One without an overload of undue drama. A period of time in which I did not have to tax my brain fully to ponder out multiple solutions and prethink possible fuckups in advance just because i know the next bomb will drop soon enough.

An span of time without an insane amount of complication. Time to recharge my batteries, replenish my soul, remember what it is to be happy. Truely happy i mean, without an undercurrent of worry, of second guessing, of wondering when the happiness bubble will be punctured by the great fuckoffbig needle of Seti.

I dream of such things nightly. Fantasize about them daily. Such things make me smile stupidly amidst the turmoil. To placidly go amidst the noise and haste

A life, shared with people I care about, where the most difficult decision I will face all week is which beach to flake out on during the weekend, or how many bottles of mix should we have on hand for the saturday night bbq. Which shoes go best with these jeans, and what i need to fix the funky shower faucet that drips. How to keep the new kitten from scratching the doorframe and which train will be the fastest route home.

The reality is right now I am stuck with the monumental decisions. The big, possibly life altering things that only I can set in motion, but whose result will, without a doubt, hugely affect some of the people I care about most fiercely.

Whose bright idea what it to give such power to me in the first place? I mean, how fucking bright is ~that~, huh? Daft cunt. What was s/he thinking? I can't decide on which mug to pour coffee into some mornings. Let alone the extraction or interjection of a whole new person into someone else's life plan.

I need one of those little Mystic 8 Ball chummys that you can ask questions to, shake and get standardized "yes" or "hell no" answers to all the deep and meaningful questions that are being screamed into my head right now.

Or Eenie Meanie Miney Mo, perhaps?