Monday, May 09, 2011

Nose to the grindstone

So I've been a housewife for about 3 years. And today I started full time work again. I had looked for work often enough in the past few years- but not so much as a bite. Could not seem to get an interview- and that's all I needed. I've never done and interview and not been offered the job. Last month, I re-vamped my resume and write an updated template cover letter, then threw out a dozen applications on various office/accounts positions.

Got two interviews, got offered both jobs. Spent a couple of days going back and forth trying to decide which to take, and spent today in the new office. Very pleased with the decision I made. Large, efficiently run office full of long-serving, happy staff members. Several unexpected perks and extras in my contract that were not discussed in interview, and a corporate environment liberal enough to be accepting of a same sex partner when it came to some of the extras, such as family leave and family health insurance. So yay!

Today was mostly just a swa,ping of information, but no real hands on work. Tomorrow I get thrown off the deep end to sink or swim, as my trainer/co-worker leaves next week for holidays and they want me up to speed before then.

Wheeeee!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

And then the bitch spanked me!

A cute wee Asian lady just totally made me her bitch- and you know what? I kinda liked it!

I went to have my nails done, but got a little more of a smack- down then I have bargained for.

Her; "I do your nails before, yes?"
Me; "Yes, several times."
Her; (while making clicking noises with her tongue to indicate disapproval) "You no take care of them!"
Me; (looking at my right hand, missing three tips, with two nails bitten till fingers had bled at some point in past few days) "No, you are right, I have not- I bite them- but that's why I keep acrylics on!"
Her; (raps my knuckles with her nail file) "You are very bad- very naughty girl! You should be spanked, yes? No more biting!"
Me; (Meekly) "Yes, Ma'am!"

(I gave her a tip for the sheer chutzpa!)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

A year in review.

The Year of the Tiger 2010 (ending on Feb 2nd, 2011) is a Yang Metal year, and it's a year of much activity, drama, changefulness, crisis, and unpredictability. Tiger years are associated with political and social instability or upheaval. Metal is not a very compatible element for Tiger (Tiger prefers Wood and Fire), and thus 2010 is expected to be challenging and turbulent overall.
(from; http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/chinese_2010_horoscope_year_of_tiger.html)

I don't pay attention to horoscopes and the like- but holy hell, was the Chinese "year of the Tiger" true to form or what?

it was a year of immense change for me. For the first time ever, I willingly and actively cut ties to several friendships- those that know me will know how rare it is for me to walk away form someone once they are in my inner circle. I protect friendships fiercely. But I've grown to accept that friendship like everything else in life, must find a happy balance to be sustainable. I've used up so much of myself in my own relationship these past few years there was little left to go around, and so I culled those who were costing me more emotion then I could afford- those that cost me to much with little benefit in return. I'm taking back my right to chose who I expend energy saving.

We moved, several times, culling a small mountain of possessions each time- finally we have de-cluttered to a livable amount, and it feels bloody fantastic.

I began a relationship with an utterly remarkable woman. Possible only because I exercised true patience for the first time in my adult life.

I had my first major accident in 22 years of driving. Totally wrote off the car. Hit a guard rail going 100 Kms an hour and walked away with nothing more then bruising, a sore face/jaw and a hand full of broken bloody fingernails. Considering the guard rail was all that was between us and a drop off, and the speed we were traveling, our luck was considerable.

I realized that I have compromised in my second marriage all that I can. Poly has always been a tricky thing for me, and there are some boundaries I just cannot erase. Complete unrestricted access to other sexual partners is farther then my mind can stretch. I'm not sorry I tried it- again- I learned enough along the way to know that- once again- I need to follow my gut instinct the first time round. And so, my second husband and I have separated. I was not ready for it. It hurts like buggery, but we're striving hard to remain friends. We will see how that pans out with a little time.

A year of great loss.
A year of great change.


Absolutely everything in my life is different then it was one year ago. Some changes I saw coming, some sucker punched me when I was not paying attention. All are devastating in their own way.

And so the end of the year sees me suddenly having to shift my focus in ways I never imagined.

With great changes come great opportunity. I'm not sure I understand all the reasons for the ending of my relationships yet- But I am confident that I did all I could. Gave all I could give. I walk away with my sense of ethics intact.

I spent much of the year feeling unloved, un- appreciated, under estimate, unattractive. So it's time to say a big "screw you" to the Year of the Tiger.

I'm ready to see what the next year holds.
I'm ready to great it with a Rebel Yell.
I want to know what's down the rabbit hole.




From; http://www.chiff.com/a/chinese-horoscopes.htm

General predictions for the Year of the Rabbit

The year of the Rabbit is traditionally associated with home and family, artistic pursuits, diplomacy, and keeping the peace. Therefore, 2011 is very likely to be a relatively calmer one than 2010 both on the world scene, as well as on a personal level.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Fair and ethical treatment.

Was reading Paula's entry on Cyclone Yasi this morning, and felt compelled to have my say.

I was surprised and impressed at how often local coverage of the recent floods here compared the local stats to the devastation in Haiti, and in Bali after wild weather in those places in past year or two- and even in the midst of local suffering, there was a tendency to compare those events to illustrate how, in relation, we've been affected so much less then others. It was pointed out time and again the impact of other poorer nations was not properly covered or understood.

The cyclone that hit last night and will continue through much of today is still 11 hours north of me- but, like the recent flooding in my area- the ongoing effects will be tremendous. There are thousands of people already homeless here in South- east Qld- and by tomorrow there will be thousands more homes rendered unlivable. The crop devastation will push prices skyward for basic food staples- some of which will be imported from elsewhere- and some of which will simply not be available. Increasing prices for basic everyday staples will put more pressure on people who have already suffered devastating losses.

But do you know what really gets my goat? Palm Island, off the coast near Mission Beach, which was "ground zero" in relation to Cyclone Yasi coming ashore- is populated by a large aboriginal group. Other islands in the region were evacuated. Palm Island was not.

State government personnel, teachers, hospital workers and the police, they were advised to leave earlier in the week. Some left, some stayed.

Four evacuation centers were announced- but only one of them was above the level of expected sea rise during the storm- and that one was not capable of holding all 3500 residents.

Other area has Army and Emergency Services going door to door urging people to leave, and telling them what services were available to assist them leaving the islands and where they would be able to take refuge on the mainland. Not on Palm Island.

Many of these residents do not read newspapers, and do not have TV's. The next few days will reveal what happened in the complete absence of fair and just treatment.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Pillow Talk, Volume one

So when either of us (or both of us) are sleepy, we have the most bucket- worthy conversations you can imagine. One or the other of us will out with some spew-worthy gem the likes of which would turn your stomach with the cute-ness. Last night was Tom_Kitten's turn.

Future installments to come!


Me; "you have the cutest dimples!"
Her; (Indignantly) " I do not have dimples. I have dents."
Me; "Well, my extreme apologies- you have the worlds cutest "dents"."
Her; "I got the dents when all the happiness ran into me"

Thursday, January 27, 2011

And so I chose to live my life by the sea and sand...

But more wonderful than the lore of old men and the lore of books is the secret lore of ocean.
H. P. Lovecraft

Am back home from a couple of days spent down the coast. My girlfriend Tom and I disappeared to give my recently ex husband the house and some privacy, as he had his new girlthing over for the first overnight stay. She was still here when we got home, and was apparently quite nervous about meeting me- can't imagine why!

But- any excuse to get me to the ocean, so we took off in the new shitebox (I totaled my car in late November/early December, in the same week that Sean and I split- the two events were totally unrelated!)- its a '96 Magna that I bought for less then two grand- but it seems to be serving it's purpose well for now. I plan to accentuate it in grand fashion thusly;
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/COOL-SET-4-CAR-FLOORMATS-ZEBRA-PURPLE-GOODQUALITY-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem35a2c6da32QQitemZ230364207666QQptZMotorsQ5fCarQ5fTruckQ5fPartsQ5fAccessories

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/FRONT-CAR-SEAT-COVERS-REAR-ZEBRA-PURPLE-HIGHQUALITY-_W0QQcmdZViewItemQQhashZitem35aef1e017QQitemZ230568353815QQptZMotorsQ5fCarQ5fTruckQ5fPartsQ5fAccessories


Awoke on Australia day morning to the sound of Tom's alarm going off at 4:15 am- because she had forgotten once again to turn off her work alarm on her day off. So I decided since I was now awake, so could she be. Spent the world's most perfect morning, sitting with our toes buried in the sand, snuggling with a coffee while watching the sun rise in the sky on a perfect Gold Coast morning. The perfection of the moment impacted so heavily with us that we made a big, possibly life-changing decision on the spot; When we get ourselves sorted out to move, we're leaving Brisbane and moving down the coast.

We are currently in a lease with my now ex until October. It might be possible to move before then in a break lease situation if new tenants can be found. But we've booked a holiday in Sydney for Mardi Gras in March, so the general plan is to do that and then start saving for a bond and for the moving costs after the Sydney trip. Once we can swing it financially, we will approach the current rental agents about finding someone new to take over. There are plenty of vacancies on the coast- it's a bit of a renters market at the moment- and with a good history/references, and the cash to move with finding the new place should be easy enough.

I'm stupendously excited.

Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but is ever a part of the heaving surface of the ocean, so must I never live my life for itself, but always in the experience which is going on around me.
Albert Schweitzer

To compromise or not to compromise? That is the question!

What's your deepest, darkest fear? Have you tried to overcome it?




For as long as I can remember, it has always been the same;

That I am not enough.

And I have tried getting around it- always attempting to be better, but have recently re-acquainted myself with the fact that if I change, it has to be for personal growth and at my own incentive.

Forcing myself to change because others wish me to be different is a temporary fix to a bigger problem. Compromise has to come from both ends of the stick if you are to meet in the middle. If only one person is adjusting their outlook, that is not compromise;

it is surrender.

I'm taking back my white flag. Maybe I'll tye- dye it!