The voices inside my head.

Question;What do you think about. When you are just sitting around thinking about your life.

I think alot about finances. I'm horrible with money. I simply don't respect it. I piss it away without concern, and then find myself struggling to support myself later.I think about how my inability to handle money affects the people around me. How it led to a massive student loan that suffocates me.

I also think of the upsides; I think about the fun I had being a student, the people I met and the lessons I learned. I think how ironic it is that I have two degrees, and yet, I learned more about myself and he world around me then I did anything acedemic.

I think about my weight...hey I'm female, its obligatory. I think about how I'm a fat chick who really does not care or even think about it when left to my own devices. I'm healthy, even if I am not fit, and overall I'm content, because I've never had a lack of partners nor had reason to think that as a person, I'm not attractive/sexy. Still, there are times that I catch a look from a stranger on the street and feel embarased about my body.

I think about shiney things and flutterbyes. Of toys that lights up and make me clap with delight. I think of rain and how much i like spashing in puddles. Things that go Grrrr in the night.I think of ice cream on my nose. Snowflakes on my tongue. Of fuzzy bunny ears and bois that purr. I think of glitter and synthetic dreads. I think of blowing soap bubbles. I think of how sad it is that most adults I know leave so much of their childhood in their past.

I think about my lust for a new camera. Of all the things I want to learn and experience in the future. And about those I've buggered up in the past.

I think about travel. I think with a touch of awe about all I have seen and the places I've visited and lived in the past 5 years. I think about being grateful to friends who I've met along the way that helped me out and made it all possible.

I think of the children I will probably never have.

I think about my friends most of all. The incredible people that have found a place in my life, who honour me by sharing their lives with me. About those I love. About how these truely amazing people see something in me that makes them want to know me.

I figure, based on these friends and loved ones, that I must have been a saint in a past life to deserve such richness in this.