The din in my head.

So...um...yeah. Australia. Not sure what to say about that, really. Thus far, The past week has been spent doing regular everyday things, sorting out my permit, agonizing over money stuff, meeting the relatives and friends of the Evil Bastardly One (who really is far more cuddleslut then bastard in person), unpacking and such. I've been poking around Brisbane, and like what i see.

But, for now, it is a city like any other, allbeit a fucklot cleaner then most, and filled with friendly folk. Even the accent does not throw me too much; I've lived away from Canada long enough now to no longer dazzled by the fact that i am surrounded by people who can't talk properly :P

And all my nerves? Mostly gone now. Mostly gone about two seconds after "hello" at the airport, in fact. Some residual squickiness stemming from the fact that I'm trying to fit into someone else's life, schedule, and living space...and not always doing a good job. I tend to be a little overwhelming at the best of times, and somehow the presence of nikki tends to leak out and creep all over the place. I leave books and writing paraphenalia all over the house, my girlie things clutter a bathroom in an eyeblink, hippy food appears by magic in the kitchen, i eat in bed and i hog the space. I'm alot to deal with. And i find it hard to minimize the impact.

I'm also a sucker for puppies...and the pup here had that figured out right away. Already he knows I'll sneak him food when no one else is looking, and he will creep into the bedroom for a quick fussing from me even though he knows he's not allowed in there.

I'm not sure what the family thought about having me here on the boi's birthday, either. As well as he and i knew each others from a couple of years of contact, to them it still meant a relative stranger was present during the celebratory stuff.

Maybe i am overthinking. But i've been a lifetime feeling like i don't belong, don't fit in, am not part of the big picture around me. it's a hard sensation to shake off. The temporary nature of my life only accentuates that. Fact is, my stay here is a time limited offer. It becomes necessary to constantly remind myself of that fact, to reign in my imagination a little and keep things in perspective. No matter how right things seem, no matter how blissfull i am...no matter how deeply i fall...all things must come to an end. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm ridiculously in love, and will enjoy every second...but this time next year i will have to say goodbye in a manner so intensely painful i can't fathom it.

On the upside, i had to buy blistex...serious lip dryness from the overload of kissing. A noteable yayness mention also goes to the wonderful stamina of youth. Screw this thing I've had for older men...young manchild types is where it is AT, I'm telling ya! Buger viagra. Early 20-something libedo is the way to go.

Seriously sickening, how sappy we are at the moment. Addicted to the way he feels, tastes, sounds, looks. And am thoroughly delighted as i discover the unknown things about him. It's like a brand new shiney geektoy, only with unlimited orgasams built right in. I don't remember the last time i smiled this much. Or if i ever have. My face aches, and i think my dimples will soon become permanent.

Am considering building a nest on the floor though. This bed makes way too much fucking noise.