Fuck me! Pineapples grow on the bloody ground, and not in trees. Did you know that? please sign the guestbook and leave an "Aye, you daft cunt, of course they do" or a "Get the fuck out?! Blimey, that's clever" message. I really want to know if i am the only one who had visions of them growing high atop a tree. The boi and his mother had a great chuckle at my incredulity at the phenomenon a few days ago.
I have now petted a kangaroo...and a koala... i think that's pretty much and Aussie equivalent of the newfie "screeching in", so now it feels as though i am actually here, and not just dreaming. Will throw up some pics at some point over the next week and link you to them.
Have made a great discovery on how to be rid of little people vermin...when said unknown whiney-arsed snot-nosed rugrat is sitting in front of you grumbing about not being able to see the tiger demonstration being given below? It's a good bet that leaning in to say "well come up and stand in this empty seat next to me" will leave the little bastard first staring wide eyed, then shutting the fuck up but quick and running into his parents arms crying about the "strange lady" talking to him. Works a treat, that.
Have discovered with great amusement how quickly kidlets can become confused. I've always had a weird assed magnet effect with small children, they seemed drawn to me. The boi tends to make small people burst into tears. Watching strange little spawn look from one of us to the other not knowing wether to approach and pet me, or run wailing is a tad amusing.
Running the risk of inviting a multitude of puppy" jokes, it is becoming apparent that i need a chew toy. While the boi asured me before my arrival he likes being bitten, what i have discovered since arriving is "i like being bitten", when translated from wombat to puppy actually means "if you do more then gum me in the gentlest of fashions i will whine like a biatch and show any teethmarks to passing strangers as evidence of abuse." Bah.Ironically, it does not stop him from nearly ripping chunks from me. Fucker bites harder then anyone else i've ever some across.
I also seem to be having some difficulty in convincing him that i am NOT, in fact, a toy put here for his amusment.
On the other hand, i am infinetely amused as the rampant geek in him does inner battle with the perve. A particular favourite of mine is to snugle up to him while he watches one of his random geeky tv shows. He practically gets whiplash turning from tv to me, in an obvious conundrum over the fact that on one side of him lies geekdom in the form of "Stargate" and on the other? There is a woman in his bed. What to do what to do?*snickering* So cute!
In other news, this weird assed rollable rubber mat of a keyboard he boi has? appears to be waterproof. thats what i get for drinking while typing. Ummm...it was due for a cleaning anyway? I only spilled a teeny bit and it's all still working? I love you? bunches? But tia laruso in ice coffee is scrummy.
I probably should considering looking for work soon though. playing hooky while shopping and gardening and housebitching lots probably does not count, huh? I guess its a matter of me becoming bored to the point where i will go crazy unless i find somehing else to do. thus far i've been keeping relatively occupied exploring and relaxing.
pineapples. on the fucking ground, man. it's odd the things that blow my mind.
Friday, August 27, 2004
Saturday, August 21, 2004
The din in my head.
So...um...yeah. Australia. Not sure what to say about that, really. Thus far, The past week has been spent doing regular everyday things, sorting out my permit, agonizing over money stuff, meeting the relatives and friends of the Evil Bastardly One (who really is far more cuddleslut then bastard in person), unpacking and such. I've been poking around Brisbane, and like what i see.
But, for now, it is a city like any other, allbeit a fucklot cleaner then most, and filled with friendly folk. Even the accent does not throw me too much; I've lived away from Canada long enough now to no longer dazzled by the fact that i am surrounded by people who can't talk properly :P
And all my nerves? Mostly gone now. Mostly gone about two seconds after "hello" at the airport, in fact. Some residual squickiness stemming from the fact that I'm trying to fit into someone else's life, schedule, and living space...and not always doing a good job. I tend to be a little overwhelming at the best of times, and somehow the presence of nikki tends to leak out and creep all over the place. I leave books and writing paraphenalia all over the house, my girlie things clutter a bathroom in an eyeblink, hippy food appears by magic in the kitchen, i eat in bed and i hog the space. I'm alot to deal with. And i find it hard to minimize the impact.
I'm also a sucker for puppies...and the pup here had that figured out right away. Already he knows I'll sneak him food when no one else is looking, and he will creep into the bedroom for a quick fussing from me even though he knows he's not allowed in there.
I'm not sure what the family thought about having me here on the boi's birthday, either. As well as he and i knew each others from a couple of years of contact, to them it still meant a relative stranger was present during the celebratory stuff.
Maybe i am overthinking. But i've been a lifetime feeling like i don't belong, don't fit in, am not part of the big picture around me. it's a hard sensation to shake off. The temporary nature of my life only accentuates that. Fact is, my stay here is a time limited offer. It becomes necessary to constantly remind myself of that fact, to reign in my imagination a little and keep things in perspective. No matter how right things seem, no matter how blissfull i am...no matter how deeply i fall...all things must come to an end. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm ridiculously in love, and will enjoy every second...but this time next year i will have to say goodbye in a manner so intensely painful i can't fathom it.
On the upside, i had to buy blistex...serious lip dryness from the overload of kissing. A noteable yayness mention also goes to the wonderful stamina of youth. Screw this thing I've had for older men...young manchild types is where it is AT, I'm telling ya! Buger viagra. Early 20-something libedo is the way to go.
Seriously sickening, how sappy we are at the moment. Addicted to the way he feels, tastes, sounds, looks. And am thoroughly delighted as i discover the unknown things about him. It's like a brand new shiney geektoy, only with unlimited orgasams built right in. I don't remember the last time i smiled this much. Or if i ever have. My face aches, and i think my dimples will soon become permanent.
Am considering building a nest on the floor though. This bed makes way too much fucking noise.
But, for now, it is a city like any other, allbeit a fucklot cleaner then most, and filled with friendly folk. Even the accent does not throw me too much; I've lived away from Canada long enough now to no longer dazzled by the fact that i am surrounded by people who can't talk properly :P
And all my nerves? Mostly gone now. Mostly gone about two seconds after "hello" at the airport, in fact. Some residual squickiness stemming from the fact that I'm trying to fit into someone else's life, schedule, and living space...and not always doing a good job. I tend to be a little overwhelming at the best of times, and somehow the presence of nikki tends to leak out and creep all over the place. I leave books and writing paraphenalia all over the house, my girlie things clutter a bathroom in an eyeblink, hippy food appears by magic in the kitchen, i eat in bed and i hog the space. I'm alot to deal with. And i find it hard to minimize the impact.
I'm also a sucker for puppies...and the pup here had that figured out right away. Already he knows I'll sneak him food when no one else is looking, and he will creep into the bedroom for a quick fussing from me even though he knows he's not allowed in there.
I'm not sure what the family thought about having me here on the boi's birthday, either. As well as he and i knew each others from a couple of years of contact, to them it still meant a relative stranger was present during the celebratory stuff.
Maybe i am overthinking. But i've been a lifetime feeling like i don't belong, don't fit in, am not part of the big picture around me. it's a hard sensation to shake off. The temporary nature of my life only accentuates that. Fact is, my stay here is a time limited offer. It becomes necessary to constantly remind myself of that fact, to reign in my imagination a little and keep things in perspective. No matter how right things seem, no matter how blissfull i am...no matter how deeply i fall...all things must come to an end. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I'm ridiculously in love, and will enjoy every second...but this time next year i will have to say goodbye in a manner so intensely painful i can't fathom it.
On the upside, i had to buy blistex...serious lip dryness from the overload of kissing. A noteable yayness mention also goes to the wonderful stamina of youth. Screw this thing I've had for older men...young manchild types is where it is AT, I'm telling ya! Buger viagra. Early 20-something libedo is the way to go.
Seriously sickening, how sappy we are at the moment. Addicted to the way he feels, tastes, sounds, looks. And am thoroughly delighted as i discover the unknown things about him. It's like a brand new shiney geektoy, only with unlimited orgasams built right in. I don't remember the last time i smiled this much. Or if i ever have. My face aches, and i think my dimples will soon become permanent.
Am considering building a nest on the floor though. This bed makes way too much fucking noise.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
Monday, August 09, 2004
The nikki has landed
Back in London once more. Shattered. No sleep since friday night. It is monday now. About to crash out and get some beauty sleep before the big bash tonight. I am sytill a little overwhelmed at the monstrosity that has errupted from what i thought would be a simple little goodbye thing. I'm touched, flattered, and alltogether embarrased by the amount of attention my departure is getting.
I', also nervous beyond all belief about this who affair. My stomach has been doing flip flops since thursday, and i am an odd cross between giddy , frequently breaking out in random "wheeee!"'s that startle anyione around me, and downright scared.
I'm terrified it's all going to go wrong and be a huge dissapointment.
I know thats irrational, but I can't help thinking it all the same.
Mostly its just the good kind of nerves though.
I'm honestly loving every second.
Sleep now.
I', also nervous beyond all belief about this who affair. My stomach has been doing flip flops since thursday, and i am an odd cross between giddy , frequently breaking out in random "wheeee!"'s that startle anyione around me, and downright scared.
I'm terrified it's all going to go wrong and be a huge dissapointment.
I know thats irrational, but I can't help thinking it all the same.
Mostly its just the good kind of nerves though.
I'm honestly loving every second.
Sleep now.
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Beetlejuice, beetlejuice, beetlejuice!
A few mornings ago, i stumble, hungover, bleary-eyed and cranky into the bathroom at stupid o'clock in the morning (ok ok so it was like 9 or something. But when you are out till 5 thats a fucking stupid time to be up. My neice is to blame), curse aloud as i stub my toe and fumble with the shower settings.
Standing in the middle of the room, looking for all the world like the living dead, on my feet but not alert and functioning only on the most basic levels. Waiting for the water temperatures to level out before stepping into the shower.
Try to pull a towel from the shelf, watch helplessly without reacting as the whole stack slips off and cascade onto the floor, in a riot of pastel colours that offends my eyes. Kick them all to one side cause i know if i bend to retrieve them i will wind up on the floor in an ungainly mess of arms and legs.
Once floor space is relatively free of terrycloth, i turn to the shower..glancing down at the floor, the whole scene changes in about 0.002 seconds.
On the floor is a beetle. I don't like bugs. I like bettles even less. I can handle bugs ok, providing i see them well in advance of them reaching me...that is i contain my reaction and can even work up suitable braveness to remove offending creature from premises.
This particular morning, however, my wits are not present.
I squeak, and immediately begin flapping my arms about while squacking and dancing a statico beat on my tippytoes in an effort to avoid the monsterously hideous creature.
The bathroom here is not only tiny, but it was built long after house, and long after plumbing was sorted. Which means the tiny bathroom has three levels of flooring, in order to compensate for the pipework.
In all my flailing about, i had forgotten this fact. I manage to step off the edge of the floor.
Tipping over backwards, it all went wrong. In one of those surreal moment, time slows down and i fall for what seems like forever, waving arms in a blured cartoon fashion in an attempt to counteract the very laws of gravity.
To no avail. I land, arse into the clothing hamper, legs and arms straight up the air, folded over like a giant paperclip. On the plus side, my legs do still fit behind my ears, i discovered.
I actual sit still for a moment, taking in the sound of the shower, ears prickled to see if i have woken others. Then i remember that i am locked alone in the room with what is surely a killer beetle, and my brain becomes more alert.
Must get out of this death trap disguised as a plastic clothing bin.
Easier said then done. I am truely stuck...i cant get purchase on anything, and i cant bend elbows enough to get a grip on the bin to lift myself out.
I would go into a gigglefit at this point, cept i am panicing about the bug getting me. Verging on the hysterical, i force myself to get a grip and think.
Stetching my neck, i can sort of peer around one knee and the ankle of the other foot, lowering my shoulder carefully, and try get a glimpse of the beetle. It is nowhere to be seen, and i feel like a total fool.
Reason has set in once more.
I still need to get myself out of the hamper, though.
The bathroom has begin to fill with steam, and i do relax enough to finally start giggling. I wish i had a camera. Beter yet, i wish i was still living in my previous live feed fully webcammed apartment of a couple years back. Pure gold, this one.
Striking on the solution, i begin rocking back and forth. Tipping side to side 4 or 5 times, i manage to get enough momentum to tip the basket and me over sideways.
Great. Brilliant. Now i am stuck in a plastic bin over on its side, with my face mushed onto the floor, nose pressed sideways in a painful fashion...and i need to pee from all the giggling.
It takes another few minutes of back and forth wiggling before i manage to extract the nikki from the plastic, and dash for the toilet.
Once sitting, relieved to not be peeing on myself, i look down at the floor.
The glossy "beetle" i had spotted that started this whole thing?
Was my own toenail, painted black.
Standing in the middle of the room, looking for all the world like the living dead, on my feet but not alert and functioning only on the most basic levels. Waiting for the water temperatures to level out before stepping into the shower.
Try to pull a towel from the shelf, watch helplessly without reacting as the whole stack slips off and cascade onto the floor, in a riot of pastel colours that offends my eyes. Kick them all to one side cause i know if i bend to retrieve them i will wind up on the floor in an ungainly mess of arms and legs.
Once floor space is relatively free of terrycloth, i turn to the shower..glancing down at the floor, the whole scene changes in about 0.002 seconds.
On the floor is a beetle. I don't like bugs. I like bettles even less. I can handle bugs ok, providing i see them well in advance of them reaching me...that is i contain my reaction and can even work up suitable braveness to remove offending creature from premises.
This particular morning, however, my wits are not present.
I squeak, and immediately begin flapping my arms about while squacking and dancing a statico beat on my tippytoes in an effort to avoid the monsterously hideous creature.
The bathroom here is not only tiny, but it was built long after house, and long after plumbing was sorted. Which means the tiny bathroom has three levels of flooring, in order to compensate for the pipework.
In all my flailing about, i had forgotten this fact. I manage to step off the edge of the floor.
Tipping over backwards, it all went wrong. In one of those surreal moment, time slows down and i fall for what seems like forever, waving arms in a blured cartoon fashion in an attempt to counteract the very laws of gravity.
To no avail. I land, arse into the clothing hamper, legs and arms straight up the air, folded over like a giant paperclip. On the plus side, my legs do still fit behind my ears, i discovered.
I actual sit still for a moment, taking in the sound of the shower, ears prickled to see if i have woken others. Then i remember that i am locked alone in the room with what is surely a killer beetle, and my brain becomes more alert.
Must get out of this death trap disguised as a plastic clothing bin.
Easier said then done. I am truely stuck...i cant get purchase on anything, and i cant bend elbows enough to get a grip on the bin to lift myself out.
I would go into a gigglefit at this point, cept i am panicing about the bug getting me. Verging on the hysterical, i force myself to get a grip and think.
Stetching my neck, i can sort of peer around one knee and the ankle of the other foot, lowering my shoulder carefully, and try get a glimpse of the beetle. It is nowhere to be seen, and i feel like a total fool.
Reason has set in once more.
I still need to get myself out of the hamper, though.
The bathroom has begin to fill with steam, and i do relax enough to finally start giggling. I wish i had a camera. Beter yet, i wish i was still living in my previous live feed fully webcammed apartment of a couple years back. Pure gold, this one.
Striking on the solution, i begin rocking back and forth. Tipping side to side 4 or 5 times, i manage to get enough momentum to tip the basket and me over sideways.
Great. Brilliant. Now i am stuck in a plastic bin over on its side, with my face mushed onto the floor, nose pressed sideways in a painful fashion...and i need to pee from all the giggling.
It takes another few minutes of back and forth wiggling before i manage to extract the nikki from the plastic, and dash for the toilet.
Once sitting, relieved to not be peeing on myself, i look down at the floor.
The glossy "beetle" i had spotted that started this whole thing?
Was my own toenail, painted black.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)