Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A letter to my husband

We thought that this whole working out on the back deck thing was cute. We thought you were silly to think you needed to slim down...you are so perfect already. Then we saw your newly muscled arms, after just a week of your new weight program. Fuck you.

Suddenly the twice daily activity was more then just a good excuse to go perve on your random grunts and groans. We decided we wanted to take part, too.Fuck you.

You fucker. We hurt, and it is all YOUR fault. Like so much jelly, we are, when she attempts to stand. We protest each step when she walks. We scream your name at every moment.Fuck you.

Lunges you said; without the weights, as it's just the first night and you wanted to go easy on us. It seemed so innocent and innoculous. And so we scoffed at your piddling notion of having to treat us with kid gloves. Fuck you.

Look, the things you tormented are things you depend on. We cook your meals, we drive your car. We do your shopping, we wrap around you when you fuck. Do not... fuck with us.

We know where you sleep.

Love and kisses,
Nikki's legs.

5 comments:

Scootah said...

Awwwr baby.

I did tell you that it would hurt.

Tiger balm will help tonight. And yanno, every night for the rest of the week.

If you do it morning and night untill saturday and rest sunday, you will hardly notice the hurt at all when you do it next week.

stroppywenchnikki said...

"If you do it morning and night untill saturday and rest sunday, you will hardly notice the hurt at all when you do it next week."


You are either very brave...or very, very stupid.

Davonshire said...

HORRAy for updates!

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha!

Diz
x

Anonymous said...

Hurrah - you're blogging again!!!

Chris
x