Turn the page.

How many times must one travel down the same path and have the same result before one can see in advance what the problem is. How many times before trust waivers? How many times before one gives up on the whole damn mess of it? It is certainly what I feel like doing now. I am angry, sad, heartbroken, and drained all at the same time. I feel in one sense betrayed for the broken promise and that hurts most of all. I feel angry at myself for allowing myself to believe, to care, to get involved again and most of all to love. Geoffiepoo, in his blog

I've known him for less then a decade, and more then a lifetime. He's been at varying times and degrees, my friend, my lover, my roommate, and so much more then i could ever put into words, really.

And I've watched him, time and time again, fall in love. He's the only person I've ever met who falls as quickly, and as deeply as i do. He also get crushed from the end of love. We all do, but Geoffie finds it harder then most to brush himself off, stand up and walk away.

Why?

I know. Pat knows. I don't think Geoffie does, though.

So I'm going to tell him.

He finds endings so hard because he thinks, everytime that it was his fault. If only he could try again, maybe he would figure out what he is doing wrong and fix it. maybe this time he could make it different.

What Geoffie does not know is he's not at fault. And neither, necessarilly, is the other party.

Sometimes relationships end because they are done. Most things don't last forever. They last only as long as necessary, to teach us something- or to bring us something we needed...even if, at times, we aren't aware there is something lacking.

Geofie lives his relationships holding fast to the notion of forever. It's an easy thing to do, and a very seductive idea; the notion of having things settled, finished, and therefore, no longer requiring that lonely search for understanding.

I know this because I've done it, too. So have you, in all liklelyhood. Evolutionary speaking, we are pack animals. We survive better when we aren't alone.

But, like relationships, being alone does not last forever, either. And we don't need to be with the same person forever to avoid lonliness. Herds are not static. New members enter and leave, adjusting to the environment around them.

Zen phillosophy is based on the experiences and conclusions of Siddhartha Gautama, now known as Buddha(he who is awake), who realized, during his quest for enlightement, happiness and understanding, that everything is subject to change and that suffering and discontentment are the result of attachment to circumstances and things which, by their very nature, are impermanent entitities.

It's a very healthy outlook to have. To grasp the notion that we should live in thankfullness for what we have today. Not to yearn for things we have not yet achieved. Nor mourn for things that are no longer part of our lives. Rather, happiness comes when we accept that everything we encounter has something to bring us, to teach us. And when the time is right, it too, will finish. To make way for new things.

Regret is an emotion most of us encounter at some stage. But it is also an entirely unproductive one. We are not blessed (or cursed) with the ability to travel back in time and change things. We do have the ability, however, to shake ourselves off and take yet another step forward.

Turn the page, Geoffie. A new chapter awaits.