Everyone's got em. Whether you are on of those people who simply has to straighten up a painting that squish on a wall, have to fold your towels a certain way, must point out incorrect spelling, have to load your dishwasher a specific way. Do you put your socks on first or last?
I wind up being mommy, or a caretaker to just about everyone in my life. I have a compulsion to fix people I love- irregardless if they have asked me for help or if I should keep my fucking nose out of their business.
I've had relationships end because I interfered where I was not wanted, and I've had them end because I could not cope with my own failure when the broken things did not get fixed.
I thought I had successfully overcome this compulsion some years back. I was delusional.
Today I had someone point out that I was being insufferably rude for continuing to push their emotional buttons, and I also had to watch several people I love fall apart a little at the seams while I refrained from demanding they tell me all about it so I could make it all go away for them.
Fact is, I can't fix the world.
And that hurts.
So much sadness, so much self destruction, so much waste of a life that should consist of far more happiness and joy. The world is a place filled with people who suffer more then they need to- and I just feel like if I try just a little harder, try a new tact, find them another option that I can break through their walls and help them through their issues.
Make them happy. They all deserve to be stupendously, amazingly happy.
So why is it I am egotistical enough to think that I can deliver them onto happiness?
1 comment:
You're not egotistical enough. Egotistical implies you truly believe you have the solutions to all their problems, and I don't think you actually believe that.
Compassion, on the other hand, is the compulsion to help them with their problems as best you can, regardless of whether or not you think you have the perfect solution. You have that in abundance.
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